Day Twenty Four

France: St Tropez

Monday 28th July



Relfections.

Still loving the campsite it’s was a pleasant 18 degrees C last night, I slept with Priscilla’s moon roof open, drifting off to sleep as the stars twinkled above me, it was a unique experience, one I would have loved to share with J, so maybe I should bring him here. I awoke and stood with coffee, gazing out at our sea view, the sea’s spectrum of blues and turquoise’s, accentuated by the clarity of the morning light. There is something special about the quality of the light down here.

I had a very lazy day, stocking up on some provisions, lounging around the pool and sunning myself. Ian and I cooked and chatted into the early hours. We are still getting on extremely well not a crossed word (yet). It’s the first time I’ve been on holiday with my brother as adults, I think we have both approached the experience with a sense of in trepidation. But as I say, so far so good.

There are some fabulous palm trees by the edge of the pool and as I listened to my mp3 player, I drifted through the experiences and adventures of the last 3 weeks, my thoughts swaying around like the branches of the palm tree in the breeze. I finally had some thinking time, to reflect on the last 3 weeks, hey even the last decade and to think about what my future might hold. Ian was asking me the other day, what I had gained from the whole trip so far. I’ve been so busy experiencing and planning the next adventure that I’d not given myself the space to reflect fully on this. What was I expecting to experience? What did I want to achieve? Was I searching for something I didn’t have? Or escaping from something I didn’t want? Craving something new or was I simply on a quest for new experiences to further enrich the tapestry of life? These were all questions I contemplated.

Certainly my adventures in Priscilla to date have enriched my life experience even further. Some would say that life is a journey through the echelons of time. One thing is for sure, I’ll never have enough time in my life to visit all the places the world has to explore. Having Priscilla as a home, these last few weeks, has however, make me realise that you can be so much more in control of your own journeys end. And maybe that’s what I’m really searching for from this experience, perhaps a test run for life on the road, a dry run maybe before some mega trip through Europe and beyond, sometime before I reach the end of my life, only time will tell.

But one conclusion I’ve reached is that it’s far too easy for apathy, routine, materialism and some form of duty and obligation to set in on life, mean while, time slips through your fingers, like water down a drain. Naturally change is not for everyone, many people do indeed thrive on routine, security and sensibility. It’s a certain kind of person that embraces challenge and change and I think that’s probably me.

I feel I’ve perhaps fooled myself into thinking that loyalty, hard work, routine and life’s creature comforts will reward me with a full filling and rewarding life experience. I’m definitely still searching for more of life ingredients. Certainly in Priscilla I’ve found a new route for gathering, searching and experiencing many of those elements that make up my recipe for life. This little camping car, my home for 6 weeks, is certainly going to become an important feature in my life going forward. I’m certain Priscilla can continue to fuel my renewed sense of freedom and adventure, something I’ve been putting on hold for far too long.

I don’t think I’ve spent as long a period of time, away from home as this, not since I went on my 3 month working and travelling tour of North America. As a 20 year old, that trip was to be a life changing experience, in many ways. For example, on that trip I wrote my first and only diary, until now of course. It’s strange that it takes me to be away from all the routine and familiarity to pour my thoughts out like this, but it’s extremely cathartic.

I’m remembering also my first ever solo adventure as a young ‘lad’, jetting off to Barcelona on my first university term break. The people I was to meet, the sights I experienced and the confidence, that solo trip gave me, opened up my mind to the many possibilities and adventures the world has to offer. I’ve re-ignited all those feeling again on this trip with a wiser, more mature attitude.

Life has many adventures and challenges ahead. There is no one model that defines my life, but regeneration is the key to my own character. I’m regenerating right now, preparing myself for the challenges and adventures ahead of me in my next decade. I’m different, everyone is, its just I’ve allowed myself to forget this, to forget the things in life that make me content, hell even happy!

I’ve learnt again to “Vive la difference”, as the French might say!